Childhood, Interrupted?
Friday, August 03, 2007
So, I caught this story about five-year-old tennis prodigy Jan Silva on the Today Show this morning, and I must say, I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it.
All of the experts agree that the kid has mad talent. That's why Patrick Mouratoglou, a former top player and head of the Mouratoglou Tennis Academy, is covering all the Silva family’s expenses and providing them with a three-bedroom villa and a car in their move to France.
But still -- he's five. Five-years-old and he's practicing four hours a day (on top of three hours of school) and has a mental coach to boot. Now, I'm not a parent, but shouldn't this kid be out climbing trees and playing soccer and swimming, and not having to be bribed with ice cream to practice? If he has this much natural talent, won't it still be there when he's ten or twelve, when he can make the decision to play for himself?
His mom says in this article that "Everyone thinks we're crazy, but when they come and actually meet us they are like, 'This kid loves it,' " says Mari, a tennis instructor who now teaches at Mouratoglou's academy. "We don't have to push him."
Perhaps. But at five, it's hard to imagine that Jan has chosen this. After all, five-year-olds have a tough time choosing what they want to drink (I have cousins, and I've witnessed their incredible ability to really want one thing one minute, and the next minute want something exactly opposite with just as much vehemence). Rather, one would assume that it's likely all he knows.
To this day, I still think about what might have been if my parents had just given in to my pleas to send me to the Burke Mountain Academy, which started in earnest at the end of my eighth grade year and some promising results at the Junior Olympics that winter. The Academy has only about 15 to 20 graduates a year, but since opening in 1970, has placed 150 athletes on the US Ski Team, US Olympic Team, or other national teams.
I was ready to give up everything to be one of those 150 -- friends, my horse, time with my family, and in general, a normal life. But the difference is this: I was ready. I made the choice, from sixth grade on, to get up at six a.m. every day during my Thanksgiving and Christmas vacations...to tag along to races I wasn't yet old enough to race in, carrying and screwing in gates that were double my size before it was even light out and before the temp had cleared zero degrees...to train and train and train until I qualified for the JOs...and to mentally prepare myself for them at twelve and thirteen years old -- for the actual race and also all of the surrounding craziness that comes with competition at that level. I had to lobby my parents to send me to races and sign me up for camps. And finally, at the end of eighth grade, I did the research on Burke, wrote to request information and an application, and filled it out. I chose it -- all of it.
And still, my parents said no. Even when I cried and begged and pleaded, they said no. More than a spot on the US team, they wanted me to have a normal life. They wanted me to run track or try out for basketball, in addition to skiing. To go to prom and serve on the student council. To go to horse shows with the family and be there for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.
Maybe their motives were a little bit selfish. Maybe they didn't just want those things for me, but for them too. Maybe they weren't ready to give me up right when they were just getting to know me.
I don't know what the right choice was -- for me, or for little Jan. But I can say with certainty that the trend is that sports seem to be getting more comeptitive, not less. Kids are having to choose "a" sport to focus on at younger and younger ages. One mom I met in Junior League talked about try-outs her son had to attend for soccer. He's five. Back when I was five, if you showed up in your $15 team t-shirt that usually hung down to your knees, you were in. No drills, no private lessons to ready you for try-outs. Just fun. Post-game kool-aid and cookies (and in my case, some during-game dandelion-crown-making) and fun.
And then there's this issue rolled into the whole mess as well, marginalizing lower-income kids from reaping the benefits of competition like learning social skills, teamwork, and life-long healthy habits.
Perhaps Jan will avoid the pitfalls that seem to plague so many child prodigies or child stars. I hope he does. But it will be interesting to see if he's still swinging a raquet 15 or 20 years from now. Only time will tell...
Posted by Erin 9:15 AM
To say one "wants" to spend 4 hours day with a tennis coach and spend time with a life coach is ridiculous. That is a parent living vicariously through their child, no matter how talented that child is.